Where’s your rabbit?
Is he combusting in his hole?
Did he sprout wings?
Where is your rabbit?
Has he left this hollow place?
Has he embraced stars and
Left you to gaze longingly as he evolved and
Left you behind
Where’s your rabbit?
If not behind stars and moons
Has he escaped dimension and definition?
(This might be the last of the rabbits for awhile. Please leave comments about one or all of the poems in this series. These poems definitely come from a different process in comparison to most of my prior work, and I could definitely use some....guidance, or whatever. I don't really feel like this one ends very well. I'll keep tinkering with it.)
3 comments:
for a while (like three minutes), i didn't like rabbits 3 or 4. but then i read all rabbits in order and now i like them all. yea. only thing is, i think rabbits 4 feels like a rabbits 5. does that make sense? I notice, too, that pt.s 3 and 4 are pretty different than 1 and 2, but i like that, i think.
i will comment on all 4 rabbits here, i think. please excuse what i'm sure will be very unorganized comments.
first thing of interest: i like how all 4 rabbit pieces are like nursery ryhmes or almost folk songs. i can imagine them being sung, and the song building in intensity as it continues. to me rabbit 4 seems very intense, the tone almost angry, but i could read it an entirely different way also. i think i get that from the tone of rabbits 3 which kind of feels bitter. like, i imagine some child saying this to a parent that they hate as their being tucked into bed, "Won’t you pull the covers up / 'round my cheeks?"
rabbits 1 & 2 i liked the imagery in and what not, but i don't really like how you're mentioning almost every color in the rainbow. it can be a little blatant if you're doing it side by side, but thats just what i think. also interesting, i have tons of writing just like this.
(have you read the novel watership down? it's about rabbits, very good)
i feel like they all go together but there would have to be either a part 5 to tie it all up neatly, or have 4 be 5 and do a new 4, yeah. im not sure what your starting off point was for the "stream," but it can be pretty interesting to analyze your own stream of consciousness writings in a sort of fruedian way.
The thing that I think I like most about these poems is that to me, they fit together. Maybe this is just AP English shining through, but I feel like you unintentionally summed up a person's spiritual journey as they age. The first poem was blatantly questioning and almost mocking, and then they slowly evolved and became more and more abstract until the last one, where it's almost ethereal and childlike...like you're asking, instead of "where is your rabbit", "where is your god?" I absolutely love the last poem. It gave me goosebumps.
Anyways, I am still amazed at how you can say something so meaningful without...meaning to.
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