music collection / music creation / poetry / philosophy
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
throbbing
bloody stump you are circumcised skinned
some organs, bound in dirt you are empty, emptied, and emptying still slave to grind throbbing carcass
you are stripped of meaning, void of no importance but infuriatingly
as nothing you are still everything
2 comments:
Anonymous
said...
i liked, i like the tone, which is kind of bitter. it reminds me of this very disturbing, but somewhat fascinating, story i read in which a girl was amputated. it calls to mind that image, which is not too pleasant, so thanks :P but i liked how you had the physical body so seemingly dismantled, but the existence of the person still holds great importance. i maybe think you could have added a few details about setting, for a bit more completeness, maybe.
good call on the setting. i wanted this poem to be very brutal and "punk", just kind of in your face (as opposed to my usual super-symbolic image heavy stuff), but it probably could use at least a bit more exposition.
i dont know how poems this bitter escape my head, really. i don't feel especially bitter, but i just get into this strange headspace at times and can really tap the subconscious. need to take some more psych-related classes :P
2 comments:
i liked, i like the tone, which is kind of bitter. it reminds me of this very disturbing, but somewhat fascinating, story i read in which a girl was amputated. it calls to mind that image, which is not too pleasant, so thanks :P but i liked how you had the physical body so seemingly dismantled, but the existence of the person still holds great importance. i maybe think you could have added a few details about setting, for a bit more completeness, maybe.
good call on the setting.
i wanted this poem to be very brutal and "punk", just kind of in your face (as opposed to my usual super-symbolic image heavy stuff), but it probably could use at least a bit more exposition.
i dont know how poems this bitter escape my head, really. i don't feel especially bitter, but i just get into this strange headspace at times and can really tap the subconscious. need to take some more psych-related classes :P
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